Chronic illness is hard to deal with any time of year, but it is especially difficult during the holidays.
With Thanksgiving approaching — and with the changes brought on by Covid this year — I've decided to begin my holiday season with gratitude for what I do have and can enjoy, rather than what I don't and can't.
Over the past five years, my diet has changed drastically. And navigating the holidays has become a daunting task if I'm not the one cooking.
Not knowing what's in my food is scary; anyone with a food allergy knows this to be true. Every time I've had to eat at a relative's home, especially for a holiday, I've done so in fear. When I'm not 100 percent sure of ingredients, I often just skip certain portions of a meal. And it quite honestly sucks.
In addition to allergies, I also have an intolerance to a variety of foods. This is common for many of us that have fibromyalgia or endometriosis. Unlike an allergy, an intolerance doesn't cause an IgE immune response (i.e. itching, hives, or anaphylaxis); however, it can make you feel equally as ill, sometimes for days or weeks after.
I really shouldn't, but sometimes, I just can't pass up on certain foods, even if I am intolerant. My self-control is especially lacking in the areas of cheesy, gluten-filled pasta dishes.
It's hard to let go of the past me who could easily eat pastichio (a delicious Greek pasta dish that's topped with a creamy, egg- and milk-filled bechamel sauce) on Christmas. But my health is more important than my favorite holiday meal. I am not defined by the food I can or can't eat — and it's still possible to celebrate with a meal that better suits my needs.
On top of the anxiety that eating with allergies brings is the worry that you'll have a non-food-related flare up.
A special day with family and friends can easily be ruined if you wake up with muscle and joint pain, a migraine, or no appetite. Things that you love to do and eat suddenly have little or no appeal when you can barely get out of bed.
It can be heartbreaking, but some things are out of our control.
Although Covid has thrown a wrench in what we've always known, for those of us who struggle with chronic illness, it might actually make the holidays a bit easier in 2020.
I don't mean to minimize the fact that we are all living in fear of a highly spreadable, dangerous virus; it's a heavy and somber topic that has caused pain and heartbreak for so many. But now that the safest place to be is in our homes, I can't help but find the irony in it.
Many of us already live in fear of the unknown that the outside world brings — whether that be through food prepared by someone else, or the possibility of a flare up burdening us at any moment in time. To us, home may be the safest place. And now that the coming holidays will be spent in the comfort and safety of this safe place, I find myself relieved.
I'll have more control over the food I eat, can wear comfy clothes, and won't have to focus on anything other than celebrating the holiday with my family.
So, yes, dealing with chronic illness can be difficult during the holidays. But this year, why not leave worries about food and discomfort in the past and just focus on the time you have with your loved ones.
If we are lucky enough to have a roof over our head, food on our table, and to be surrounded by the people that we love, there is still so much to be grateful for — especially in a time where we don't know what tomorrow brings.
What are you grateful for this year?
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